Often it comes up in conversation with people the question "what is a doula?" or even "what does a doula do?" as if this could be answered as easily as if it were being asked about a fireman or a librarian. While it can be put simply "a doula is a non-medical support person for birthing & new parents," or "a doula provides educational, physical, and emotional support for birthing & new parents," these fail to answer the question no one knows to ask: "who is a doula?"
Educational, physical, and emotional support are great, and even nonjudgmental educational, physical, and emotional support sounds like something we all could use, but the question everyone asks inside their head that ultimately brings them to the conclusion of whether or not they need something goes along the lines of "what does that do for me?" which is not answered by such a simple response.
Imagine you're a person who's getting ready to have a baby. You probably have some questions about how things happen or how to do things, and you've probably looked to books, to other people, or even to the Internet for answers to those questions. You might get some of the answers you were looking for, but a lot of what you found might be vague, different, confusing, or totally opposite of what you wanted to see or hear. You might even be left wondering how in the world you're going to remember all this, especially since everyone seems to love to tell you how tired you're going to be even before the baby gets here. Speaking of tired, your body is also going to hurt in places you didn't know you had and you're going to have to recover from the birth process, birthing parent or not, all while learning to take care of this tiny human. Hormones will be flying and emotions will be like the currents through the sea, which are only made more challenging to navigate through your lack of sleep and then the questions arise that no one knows the answer to: "why am I so hungry?" "When was the last time I showered?" "Is this shirt clean or dirty?"
Now imagine there's a person who can help walk you through all of that. Cue the doula.
Now, a doula is a person with three things everyone can benefit from, be it through labor or postpartum or both, and these things are very simple and everyone has them, but not everyone uses them to be a doula.
Brain
A doula is a person with a brain who has trained themself to know what to do in every situation involving birth and postpartum. This brain holds knowledge from their own reading and training and experience, and this brain has calculated information about who you are and makes decisions on how to answer the questions you have in the situations you're going through to be what you need them to be. Imagine all the childbirth education classes you've attended, all the books and articles you read, all the experiences your trusted people have been through packed into one very neat, easy to use system that is eager to give you exactly what you need before you even know you need it. That is the brain of a doula.
Body
A doula is a person with a body who has been through this before. They have arms and legs with muscle memory that know how to comfort your body through the aches and pains of childbirth and through the recovery process that follows. This body knows what yours needs every step of the way and knows how to keep your body safe and strong. These arms and legs can also hold and cradle and care for your baby through the times when your body is too tired or too overwhelmed to want to keep going. These arms and legs can also do the tasks around your home that have become too much for you to do since all you want to do is snuggle your sweet baby and stay in bed all day, because that's what your doctor told you to do anyways. That is the body of a doula.
Heart
A doula is a person with a heart that loves you and desires for you to feel valued and validated. This heart has loved many a family and it knows what it's like to go through these times you're preparing for. This heart knows what's in store for yours on the other side of the delivery room and has seen the unexpected before. It knows your fears and your struggles, as well as the love that you need to experience to let your emotions go and become the parent you need to be just by doing it. This heart loves when yours feels comfortable enough to grow to fill in the spaces this new baby opens up inside it. This heart also loves your baby and your family and cares for nothing else while it is in your presence. That is the heart of a doula.
